goin' old school?

Eron- Old School Graffiti, flickr

My 14 year old son tells me no one uses Facebook anymore.

I'm sure a few months ago he had "friends" he'd never met. "Talked" with them a lot, but never met. When I was 14, I practically lived with my friends day and night.

Yet today's technology opens so many new doors for young people that my 14 year old self could never have imagined. And with each new development, they seem to adjust and keep pace with relative ease. Something my older generation is not nearly as adapt at doing.

The past few years I've tried to make a concerted effort to "catch-up" to technology and social media with mixed results. I've dipped my toe in a few different networks but most of my activity has been on Facebook, Twitter and this blog. Every so often, I'll get frustrated at the plethora of fluff or material that is of little interest, but I also have found my share of "diamonds in the rough". In particular, social media has allowed me to track down and keep in touch with former friends, colleagues and extended family. As well, I've met new folks whose lives have been impacted by Parkinson's Disease. We've been able to share our experiences, provide support when it's required, and grow in ways I wouldn't have expected.

I have been somewhat guarded with my "friends" list - I haven't added everyone who has requested to be my friend nor have I sought to "pad" my number of friends. I'm aware of concerns with regard to spammers and fraudulent representation on-line. Perhaps, I've not been particularly diligent about purging the list of people who I have had more limited contact with but this is, in and of itself, relatively harmless. 

Recently though, I've had a few experiences that make me wonder. I met a fellow PD blogger through our respective blog sites. We were kindred spirits and had regular on-line contact several times a week covering a wide range of personal, health and social issues. I would have said that in the course of a year or so, we were becoming good friends. A friend I'd never met. Yet the more we talked, the more I wanted to meet this person - in person. We came close, but it hasn't happened and I'm not sure it will. I find I am vulnerable to investing too much of myself - emotionally and intellectually - into relationships with "friends" who, for whatever reason, I'm unable to meet. 

I've also had friends who have taken the liberty of adding me to social groups as a friend without seeking consent or first gauging my interest. Perhaps I'm a little old-fashioned in this regard as well but I would much prefer to be "invited" to join a group. Invite me to join a group and I'll likely lap up the invite - put me in a group and I'm much more likely to want the h___ out!

I do think that Zuckerberg really did strike a chord with Facebook and this "friends" concept (though that's stating the obvious). This is especially so in a world where we tend to be more isolated (and that's particularly true for those of us with PD). This network of "friends" can bring another rich layer into one's life - even if it is not always a mutually fuelled or sustained effort. Tonight, I'm betwixt and between - do I adapt my concept of friends to reflect life on-line or, when it comes to choosing my friends, should I be "goin' old school?"